How many times have we looked outside ourselves to figure why life has taken us down certain paths; or has thrown us curve balls?? It takes time to look at the circumstances and determine what your role was in the event. Often times we spend a lot of time and energy trying to figure out what is wrong with other people or how they can improve. We know deep down inside the role we played and how we could have handled it differently but want to hold other accountable for what we have done. It creates an inner turmoil and i think that, that happens because we start to challenge ourselves. Where does the inner turmoil come from. I think it’s mostly fear. Fear of what?
sometimes its fear of what the other person is going to say or how the other person is going to react. Other times it maybe fear of rejection or simply fear of being made a fool of. I was speaking with a girlfriend who wanted to reach out to a friend she had a falling out with. Actually she didn’t have a falling out with her she had been offended by a comment and a situation. Her friend now was going through a very difficult time and she wanted to reach out badly. She was giving all kinds of reasons and excuses not to call her despite knowing it was the right thing to do. So we talked about it and everything boiled down to how she felt slighted by this person. She came up with 100 different scenarios about how the conversation could potentially go (fear). Essentially she was fighting herself in her mind. Anyhow, she ended up connecting with her friend offered her support and the conversation when smoothly and she was pleased with it. You see we can spend a lot of our time fearful, anxious, worried and ashamed based on the conversation we had we had laid out all planned in our mind……sometimes we truly are our worst enemy……..sometimes the only decision we have to make is to stop shadow boxing….